Pat Robertson: Chile Earthquake Result Of Pact With Chupacabra

February 27, 2010

Atlanta- Pat Robertson, the conservative Christian televangelist and host of the 700 Club said that the 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Chile yesterday  was the result of the nations pact with the Chupacabra, or goat-sucker, a devilish beast blamed for livestock deaths across Latin America.

“Something happened a long time ago in Chile, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson said. “They were under the heel of the democratically elected SOCIALIST regime of Salvador Allende …and they got together and swore a pact to the chupacabra. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the the man we elected president, and install a military dictatorship that will make thousands of ‘troublemakers disappear.’” “True story,” he continued. “And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’ Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

Robertson went on to say to that it was no coincidence that the quake took place near the city of Concepción, and it was “obviously a part of god’s plan to eradicate the right of women worldwide to have access to reproductive facilities and medical procedures.”

The massive tsunami, or “devil waves” that spread across the pacific threatened massive damage as well, but according to Robertson, caused no deaths because “God spared all of the good Christian people in Polynesia and the coast of the orient.”

Robertson was unavailable for further comment.

  • Daniel Appleton

    RT @FreakOutNation FreakOutNation » Pat Robertson: Chile Earthquake Result Of Pact With Chupacabra – OK, this is satire

  • Johnny

    Ha ha ha . Very laughable what Robertson said and believes.
    Goats ?!! -Leave the Chupacabra alone. If that creature even exsists it has to eat something. …How many living things get wiped out because of our selfish human “survival”? We all know the most infamous monster on the globe -is MANKIND.

  • Call me Dalal

    @saqeram there was stuff around like this , but I dunno if he actually said anything

  • L. Munoz

    just one more thing.
    anybody who may even think for a second that these events are God’s way to punish people, don’t know God too much even if they go to church and read the bible.

  • L. Munoz

    hello everybody (even those who call me names),
    i know the blogger was making up what that so-called pastor ‘said’ in this blog.
    robertson hasn’t said anything about it up until today.
    i don’t know but it looks like some didn’t understand what i meant when i said “i know nobody can be that stupid or evil to say something like what you have blogged here.” the ‘nobody’ was robertson, the ‘you’ was the blogger.
    i also said “if you could only use your brain for something productive… you even tagged this under “satire”? so, this is just a big joke for you huh?”

    maybe now, you will understand why i said what i said.

    and to that someone who said i should be helping instead of writing here, the answer is: YES, i am still helping because for us chilean people the earthquake IS a reality, not a novelty that only happened for 12 hours in CNN.
    if somebody wants to help with clothing/blankets or money, please send me an email and i will let you know how to help from the US.
    thank you all very much.

    • Anomaly100

      @L.Munoz: Scroll up to the top of the article & you will see the word, “Satire.” This was not a deception. It is satire motivated because of Robertson’s ridiculous lie about the people of Haiti. I did not write it. It was written by a talented writer by the name of, Ole Ole Olson, whose name is also at the top of the post.

  • Maya Babalon–Whisky

    This story is indeed in bad taste…all us kids from Whisky, AR love it!

Related Posts