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Pat Robertson: Chile Earthquake Result Of Pact With Chupacabra

Atlanta- Pat Robertson, the conservative Christian televangelist and host of the 700 Club said that the 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Chile yesterday  was the result of the nations pact with the Chupacabra, or goat-sucker, a devilish beast blamed for livestock deaths across Latin America.


“Something happened a long time ago in Chile, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson said. “They were under the heel of the democratically elected SOCIALIST regime of Salvador Allende …and they got together and swore a pact to the chupacabra. They said, ’We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the the man we elected president, and install a military dictatorship that will make thousands of ‘troublemakers disappear.’” ”True story,” he continued. “And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’ Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”


Robertson went on to say to that it was no coincidence that the quake took place near the city of Concepción, and it was “obviously a part of god’s plan to eradicate the right of women worldwide to have access to reproductive facilities and medical procedures.”


The massive tsunami, or “devil waves” that spread across the pacific threatened massive damage as well, but according to Robertson, caused no deaths because “God spared all of the good Christian people in Polynesia and the coast of the orient.”


Robertson was unavailable for further comment.

Posted in Satire.

75 comments

By Ole Ole Olson – February 27, 2010

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  • bob m

    Pat Robertson is a dick. Too bad he is an American, and gives the good people of this great country such a bad name across the world.

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    • Tbottles

      Oh Pat…bless your heart.

  • Ole Ole Olson

    L. Munoz,
    nobody is ridiculing the suffering of the Chileans. What is appalling is Christian conservatives who actually say things like this. I have already donated what I could afford, which granted was not much because most of what I can spare has already gone to Haiti.

    Rebel, you wrote, “It appears that the all-loving, compassionate, sensitive caring liberal Anamoly has offended the Chilean people with this post”

    If you would look at the top of the page, and actually read who this was written by, it was me, not Anomaly. If you’re looking to vent, direct your rage towards me.

    You also wrote: “Pat Robertson(‘s) views do not represent Conservatives or Republicans. He is a Christian fundamentalist that seems to enjoy making an ass out of himself and a bad name for Christians.”

    That depends on your definition of ‘conservative’. 99% of the people who self describe themselves as such are extremely religious, and push those religious views on others. As the home of conservativism, the Republican Party has fought for imposing the 10 commandments on people of all faith and the non-religious using taxpayer money in public spaces such as courthouses and public parks across the land. Pat Robertson is the perfect spokesman for conservative Republicans.

    • Anomaly100

      @Ole Ole Olson: Rebel can tell you that I am quite used to being the target of his rage. He tried to make a bet with me once and asked if I lost, would I close this blog? Didn’t you, Rebel? I loved the ariticle and it’s hilarious. Humor is lost on some people.

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  • DobyGS

    One thing more predictable than earthquakes now, is the expected Pat Robertson’s “God was angry with “Blank” so he made and earthquake” statement. This was nothing about Chile.

    • AlphaAnt1

      # L. Munoz, Why aren’t you out helping people? The least you

      could do since you have access to a computer would be helping

      people find each other. But Oh No, you can’t do that because

      you’re really a big fat white bigoted conservative racist

      homophobic religious-nut anti-immigrant under-educated ASSHOLE.

  • http://www.twitter.com/cartonpiedra felipe sidelman

    te lo digo en español: soy chileno, y aca a personas taradas como tu les decimos ” weones conchesumadre” retrasado mental, imbecil, estupido, insensible, mal nacido, ojala un dia enserio te caiga una casa encima y quedes atrapado… y supliques por tu vida y nadie te ayude por horas, porque personas como yo que ayudamos como podemos no moveremos un dedo por hacerlo, pudrete completamente, tu mente ya lo está.

    • Anomaly100

      @Felipe: Espero que se trata de Pat Robertson, porque era una sátira de él, no su pueblo. Es el señor Robertson, que está en una posición para ayudar a más personas y no debe juzgarlas por razones que no encontrar a ser de carácter cristiano. Esto no fue la intención de lastimar de ninguna manera. Le deseo todo lo bueno. Simplemente decir…..

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    • Rebel

      Hmmm. It appears that the all-loving, compassionate, sensitive caring liberal Anamoly has offended the Chilean people with this post. I think she should apologize.

      Pat Robertson has been making a name for himself with stupid comments such as this. His views do not represent Conservatives or Republicans. He is a Christian fundamentalist that seems to enjoy making an ass out of himself and a bad name for Christians.

  • L. Munoz

    i know nobody can be that stupid or evil to say something like what you have blogged here.
    i’m glad you are having a good time and rating by making fun of other people’s suffering.
    yes, I AM CHILEAN and you should be ashame for making such a piece of crap of yourself.
    if you could only use your brain for something productive… you even tagged this under “satire”? so, this is just a big joke for you huh? children dying, people losing their homes… nothing but a big joke.

    my email chileanheart@live.com

  • Wildcatt

    Holy cow! I don’t even know how to reply..but Senile Dementia comes immediately to mind!

    • Anomaly100

      @Wildcat: This is listed under “satire” but, it seems true because this man is so detached from reality. I’ve heard a couple of similar reactions like yours tonight. ;-)

      • L. Essdee

        This story is in bad taste.

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