Pat Robertson: Chile Earthquake Result Of Pact With Chupacabra

Atlanta- Pat Robertson, the conservative Christian televangelist and host of the 700 Club said that the 8.8 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Chile yesterday  was the result of the nations pact with the Chupacabra, or goat-sucker, a devilish beast blamed for livestock deaths across Latin America.

“Something happened a long time ago in Chile, and people might not want to talk about it,” Robertson said. “They were under the heel of the democratically elected SOCIALIST regime of Salvador Allende …and they got together and swore a pact to the chupacabra. They said, ‘We will serve you if you’ll get us free from the the man we elected president, and install a military dictatorship that will make thousands of ‘troublemakers disappear.'” “True story,” he continued. “And the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal.’ Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

Robertson went on to say to that it was no coincidence that the quake took place near the city of Concepción, and it was “obviously a part of god’s plan to eradicate the right of women worldwide to have access to reproductive facilities and medical procedures.”

The massive tsunami, or “devil waves” that spread across the pacific threatened massive damage as well, but according to Robertson, caused no deaths because “God spared all of the good Christian people in Polynesia and the coast of the orient.”

Robertson was unavailable for further comment.

  • Wildcatt

    Holy cow! I don’t even know how to reply..but Senile Dementia comes immediately to mind!

    • Anomaly100

      @Wildcat: This is listed under “satire” but, it seems true because this man is so detached from reality. I’ve heard a couple of similar reactions like yours tonight. 😉

      • L. Essdee

        This story is in bad taste.

  • L. Munoz

    i know nobody can be that stupid or evil to say something like what you have blogged here.
    i’m glad you are having a good time and rating by making fun of other people’s suffering.
    yes, I AM CHILEAN and you should be ashame for making such a piece of crap of yourself.
    if you could only use your brain for something productive… you even tagged this under “satire”? so, this is just a big joke for you huh? children dying, people losing their homes… nothing but a big joke.

    my email

  • felipe sidelman

    te lo digo en español: soy chileno, y aca a personas taradas como tu les decimos ” weones conchesumadre” retrasado mental, imbecil, estupido, insensible, mal nacido, ojala un dia enserio te caiga una casa encima y quedes atrapado… y supliques por tu vida y nadie te ayude por horas, porque personas como yo que ayudamos como podemos no moveremos un dedo por hacerlo, pudrete completamente, tu mente ya lo está.

    • Anomaly100

      @Felipe: Espero que se trata de Pat Robertson, porque era una sátira de él, no su pueblo. Es el señor Robertson, que está en una posición para ayudar a más personas y no debe juzgarlas por razones que no encontrar a ser de carácter cristiano. Esto no fue la intención de lastimar de ninguna manera. Le deseo todo lo bueno. Simplemente decir…..

  • DobyGS

    One thing more predictable than earthquakes now, is the expected Pat Robertson’s “God was angry with “Blank” so he made and earthquake” statement. This was nothing about Chile.

    • AlphaAnt1

      # L. Munoz, Why aren’t you out helping people? The least you

      could do since you have access to a computer would be helping

      people find each other. But Oh No, you can’t do that because

      you’re really a big fat white bigoted conservative racist

      homophobic religious-nut anti-immigrant under-educated ASSHOLE.

  • Ole Ole Olson

    L. Munoz,
    nobody is ridiculing the suffering of the Chileans. What is appalling is Christian conservatives who actually say things like this. I have already donated what I could afford, which granted was not much because most of what I can spare has already gone to Haiti.

    Rebel, you wrote, “It appears that the all-loving, compassionate, sensitive caring liberal Anamoly has offended the Chilean people with this post”

    If you would look at the top of the page, and actually read who this was written by, it was me, not Anomaly. If you’re looking to vent, direct your rage towards me.

    You also wrote: “Pat Robertson(‘s) views do not represent Conservatives or Republicans. He is a Christian fundamentalist that seems to enjoy making an ass out of himself and a bad name for Christians.”

    That depends on your definition of ‘conservative’. 99% of the people who self describe themselves as such are extremely religious, and push those religious views on others. As the home of conservativism, the Republican Party has fought for imposing the 10 commandments on people of all faith and the non-religious using taxpayer money in public spaces such as courthouses and public parks across the land. Pat Robertson is the perfect spokesman for conservative Republicans.

    • Anomaly100

      @Ole Ole Olson: Rebel can tell you that I am quite used to being the target of his rage. He tried to make a bet with me once and asked if I lost, would I close this blog? Didn’t you, Rebel? I loved the ariticle and it’s hilarious. Humor is lost on some people.

  • bob m

    Pat Robertson is a dick. Too bad he is an American, and gives the good people of this great country such a bad name across the world.

  • Ana

    I must of missed this when I wrote my thesis on Chilean dictatorships!!! I think this is both tragic and funny, it shows, once again how religion poisons the minds of people that lack the ability of separating reality from stupidity. I feel for the Chilean people, Pat Robertson, in my opinion, should be the victim of a hate crime!
    See how that feels you white piece of trash, Bible belt banjo playing hillbilly!
    Latinos Unidos!

  • SAmmy Soso

    Actually makes sense when you think about it.


  • Rebel

    @Anomaly: The offer still stands.

    By the way, why is it that when a liberal posts something satirical it is humor? Every time a conservative says something satirical it is not funny. Okay – I get it now. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.


    conservatives have no sense of humor.

    the only way they laugh is if one of their leaders laughs otherwise, they stick to the message of their ‘solemn crusade’.

  • mary

    Why does this insane freak even have a platform to speak?

  • essie wilson ryan

    Jajaja Felipe!!! Hola! toTalmente de acuerdo con vos!! pero nosotros en Argentina a esos les decimos BOLUDO PELOTUDO DE MIERDA LA C DE TUMADRE.
    Y me solidarizo con los hermanos chilenos!!!!

    • erw6889

      Okay, so most of you are stupid and have no idea about what is really going on around the world, and you should do your homework before commenting on something like this. Yes this post is satire, and no Pat Robertson didn’t say this about Chile, but he did say it about Haiti. If you take exactly what was said here about Chile, and replace “Salvador Allende” with “Napoleon III” and “Chupacabra” with “Devil” then you would get Pat’s exact words as to why the earthquake in haiti occurred.

      Pat Robertson really one of the worst people in this world for this and other reasons, and someone actually needs to start calling people’s attention to this, like this satyrical post. it was not “in bad taste” as some of you have said, it calls attention to some of the crazy people in this world.

  • tam

    its sonic the hedgehog on crack..

  • Shawn

    Pat Robertson seems to know a lot about all these deals countries have made with the devil. Insider information maybe?

  • Chupacabras

    Uta el weon aweonao …..

    Viva chile mierda!!!

  • dahjr

    chilean man hates poster for posting thinking its making fun of chile’s “pact”. that is not the reason he posted this. its because we americans cant believe a religious “leader” has the gall to say something like this not once, but twice in a very short time. pat robertson is the female genetalia in this situation not the blogger who posted the story. and if i werein chilie right now. i would not be spending my time arguing with someone on a computer. id be helping all i could… person.

  • explicación

    Jaja, para los hispanoparlanes que no entienden la sátira: se están riendo de Robertson, lunático que dijo que el terremoto de Haití se debió a que los haitianos hicieron un pacto con el diablo, y ahora dios los está retribuyendo.

    Hay otras páginas donde la sátira no es por pactos con el chupacabras sino por elegir un presidente mujer.

    tl;dr: Se ríen de Robertson, no del terremoto.

    • Anomaly100

      @explicacion: Perhaps satire is lost on some. It’s still amusing.

  • Carlos

    Very funny, really, at this moment, a coment like that takes me to the good old times :-) BUT unfortunatelly, HAARP is going nuts, since everything is falling apart to a, sadly, big end, soon.
    Anyway, it was fun, poor devil.

  • PatiRoca

    I’m from Chile…. I felt from my chair laughing when I read the article (sorry for my english!)

  • Diana García


  • Brohoun

    choke on a **** pat robertson and just stfu!!!!!!!!!!

  • brad

    god is real you guys…he once sent his only son down to earth to rape young boys…*sniff* i was one of them…he had a small ****. figures.

  • dectac

    what an (old) idiot.

  • Willie

    Hate has many faces; from Anne Coulter to Pat Robertson. Each is a hate monger that thrives on their personal inadequacies at the expense of others. One can only hope that Pat will be abandoned at his greatest time of need.

    When you operate as the center of your own universe, all satellites suffer at your hand.

    • Anomaly100

      @Willie: Oh how I wish I’d said that! Well said.

  • carol h.

    What can you say about this man that has not been said? He has a career steeped in lies and fantasy. And his followers pay him millions to enlighten them. So they share his fantasies.

    It is difficult to feel anything but contempt for this man. Pity springs to mind, but leaves immediately. When you think of the pain and damage he has done, you want to see him pay some price. But he won’t. Not everyone that does harm pays for it. He will be like so many and continue to leave emotional devastation in his wake. As for the people that continue to make him wealthy, at the expense of truth or christianity, (small c), they pretty much deserve what they get.

    He may be crazy, or he may simply be overly fond of the controversy he spawns. Either way he bears no resemblance to the god he espouses. And neither do most of them.

    He is very old, and will not be around too much longer. He is a pathetic excuse for a man.


    An 8.8 in the scale will hit near this asshole and all the rest ‘s family’s place, let see if you ask for help to chupacabras or laught about a similar topic.

  • Rebel

    Oh lookey, Comrade Anomaly’s pathetic little blog is going viral with this post. There are a few things that will always generate a lot of momentum with liberals: Fundamentalist Christians, Gay Sex, & Race. Good job comrade Anomaly.

    • Anomaly100

      @Rebel: You make me blush when you call me a liberal. You flatter me sir!

      • Rebel

        @ ole ole: I have told other losers here to be more creative and I shall now tell you. The whole “mother’s basement” thing is my insult. You can’t copy me. You have to come up with your own. Come on now. Be original. Don’t be like @Anomaly and just cut and plagarise articles from Media Matters!

        • Anomaly100

          @Rebel: Please show me where I have plagiarized. I’ve never claimed to be a writer. I’m just blogging about what I care about most, which is what you care about least. People.

  • atticwit

    didn’t god create the earth?
    didn’t the thought cross his mind, “i should probably make the earth’s crust out of many different parts so that they shift and grind together, and cause massive destruction where my beloved creations will reside? i mean, hey, i’m an all-powerful all-knowing CREATOR, so my only option must be a destructively violent shifting crust on this planet.”
    he may even have said “shazam!” or “booyah!” when he was done, like it was a impressive trick.

  • Froilan Irizarry

    WTF!!! RT @c00m: I knew the #chupacabra existed … … at least we hunt it in #PuertoRico … no secret pacts here …

  • patrick pilcher

    Nut-bar televangelist from the US claims the Chile quake was because of a pact between Chile & the Chupacabra #WTF?

  • Ole Ole Olson

    you seriously need to get out more. Life is short, and the world is big, although you could never tell from the confines of your mother’s basement.

  • Huckle Cat

    Thank you, explicación. But apparently Diana García doesn’t understand either English or Spanish.

    Even if it were NOT satire, Ole Ole clearly writes it as quoting Robertson. *sigh*

    • Anomaly100

      @Huckle: Ole Ole wrote it as a quote because that is what satire is. Obviously, you have never read “The Onion.” *sigh*

  • Oh Ngo…

    L. Munoz: it’s not about Chile.


    What it is about, is whether or not Ole Ole Olson is going to get sued for copyright infringement for using a picture of Nicole Ritchie without consent.

    Highly entertaining.. :) – k

    • Anomaly100

      @Oh Ngo… Now that’s funny!

  • Cristián Rojas Mora

    un gringo diciendo que el TERREMOTO es porque CHILE hiso un PACTO CON EL CHUPACABRAS!!?? :O (ojo esta en ingles)

  • Klaren950

    That was quite nice, thanks a bunch! I’ll have to read up on some of the other posts too…

  • Catalina Flowers


  • F.A.

    Excuse me but I've never made a pact with the Chupacabras

  • Maya Babalon–Whisky

    This story is indeed in bad taste…all us kids from Whisky, AR love it!

  • L. Munoz

    hello everybody (even those who call me names),
    i know the blogger was making up what that so-called pastor ‘said’ in this blog.
    robertson hasn’t said anything about it up until today.
    i don’t know but it looks like some didn’t understand what i meant when i said “i know nobody can be that stupid or evil to say something like what you have blogged here.” the ‘nobody’ was robertson, the ‘you’ was the blogger.
    i also said “if you could only use your brain for something productive… you even tagged this under “satire”? so, this is just a big joke for you huh?”

    maybe now, you will understand why i said what i said.

    and to that someone who said i should be helping instead of writing here, the answer is: YES, i am still helping because for us chilean people the earthquake IS a reality, not a novelty that only happened for 12 hours in CNN.
    if somebody wants to help with clothing/blankets or money, please send me an email and i will let you know how to help from the US.
    thank you all very much.

    • Anomaly100

      @L.Munoz: Scroll up to the top of the article & you will see the word, “Satire.” This was not a deception. It is satire motivated because of Robertson’s ridiculous lie about the people of Haiti. I did not write it. It was written by a talented writer by the name of, Ole Ole Olson, whose name is also at the top of the post.

  • L. Munoz

    just one more thing.
    anybody who may even think for a second that these events are God’s way to punish people, don’t know God too much even if they go to church and read the bible.

  • Call me Dalal

    @saqeram there was stuff around like this , but I dunno if he actually said anything

  • Johnny

    Ha ha ha . Very laughable what Robertson said and believes.
    Goats ?!! -Leave the Chupacabra alone. If that creature even exsists it has to eat something. …How many living things get wiped out because of our selfish human “survival”? We all know the most infamous monster on the globe -is MANKIND.

  • Daniel Appleton

    RT @FreakOutNation FreakOutNation » Pat Robertson: Chile Earthquake Result Of Pact With Chupacabra – OK, this is satire

  • Rebel

    Hmmm. It appears that the all-loving, compassionate, sensitive caring liberal Anamoly has offended the Chilean people with this post. I think she should apologize.

    Pat Robertson has been making a name for himself with stupid comments such as this. His views do not represent Conservatives or Republicans. He is a Christian fundamentalist that seems to enjoy making an ass out of himself and a bad name for Christians.

  • Chris

    @ L. Munoz
    u mad?

  • Yolie

    I think he says that almost to every country that was hit by major earthquakes every time… nothing new… similar like a fart… smelly at first but it fades with the wind after a while…

  • Buzzkill

    The author practically used the same insert/script that Pat Robertson said about Haiti and replaced it with Chile. It’s a classic case of Oh Exploitable! Welcome to the internet everyone!

  • anklesneeze

    Americans Cursed with Pat Robertson Shaped Hemorrhoids

    Detroit- Americans with a history of listening to or supporting religious leader Pat Robertson have been found to have a 43% higher likelihood of hemorrhagic disorders according to a recent finding at the Council for Medical Research of Ann Arbor.
    “We began to notice this trend occurring on Sunday mornings when emergency rooms reported an unusually high number of acute hemorrhoid pain episodes after the patients had heard part or worse yet Mr. Robertson’s entire sermon.” Dr. Anjay Gandajh of the CMRAA reported to our interviewer.
    High-resolution images confirmed these painful lesions were actually taking on the shape and characteristics of the well-known evangelist. The painful condition came to the attention of medical professionals after recent comments about natural disasters by the controversial figure. The Center for Public Health has issued a recommendation to the FCC for a warning message to precede all broadcasts of audio containing the voice of Mr. Robertson.
    There has still been no medical reason found for the bizarre health hazard however, there is a precedent in the warnings given about false prophets in the Old Testament.

  • Tbottles

    Oh Pat…bless your heart.

  • Anomaly100

    @anklesneeze: You made me smile. 😉