Inventor of vibrator responds to Michele Bachmann after she was gifted with a vibrator from a Conservative Group

July 18, 2013
By

The CEO of a conservative Christian political consulting firm accidentally on purpose sent Rep. Michele Bachmann (R) a vibrator as a gift.

Rex Elsass of Strategy Group for Media, reportedly sent “female pleasure machines” to the Minnesota Congresswoman thinking it would help her with her migraines, but intended to send an electronic head massager of sorts instead.

Bachmann

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In response to the news, the CEO for a company that invented a vibrator created an open letter to Bachmann. 

Dear Rep. Bachmann,

I am sorry to hear that the Christian Conservative Strategy Group for Media sent a facial massager to help with your migraine, and then intercepted it when they realized that they had mistakenly mailed you a sex toy (1) (2).

Ironically, a sex toy may have been of more use to you. For example, in a paper published earlier this year by Evers et al (3) show that the majority of migraine sufferers who masturbate find relief from their pain.

In many cases, masturbating ended their migraine altogether.

Since sleeping well can also help with migraines, may I suggest slipping a Little Rooster Alarm Clock Vibrator in your underwear when you feel one coming on?

Little Rooster is the world’s first alarm clock specifically designed to wake you in a good mood. It curves around you comfortingly and in the morning it starts vibrating very gently. Then it slowly increases in power, waking you slowly, calmly, energized, in a great mood, ready to face your day. It is an alarm clock and a vibrator all in one.

A stimulus package I think we all can agree delivers.

Yours sincerely,

Tony Maggs

Inventor

CEO, Little Rooster Limited

Rep. Bachmann recently said that Congress should give President Obama a ‘spanking’ then spoke of his ‘magic wand’. Maybe she could use a vibrator or ten instead of focusing on the President’s penis.

Michele, if you want that vibrator (and we know that you do) click here.

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  • saucetin

    The French had a single-use neck massager that’s more fit for her cou, coupé.

  • saucetin

    We are assured that Marcus Bachmann doesn’t do diligence–or do didley squat even–in her domain.

  • juicyfruityyy

    May I suggest a Lobotomy, Michele? I’m sure that it will cure your migraines

    • Dan Counts

      That’s faulty logic…..you are assuming she has higher brain function than what occurs in the amygdala

  • Hitch’s Apprentice

    Oh my Ghod!!! A sex toy??? Well, Michele just jam it up someplace warm & wet, and hide it!

  • barry60x

    Don’t worry about Michele. She married that gay guy just to give herself cover for her wild sexcapades. She’s definitely a lifestyle enchantress. I have it on good information that all she needs is a couple of shot of tequila and she’s ready to kick those sexy legs in the air.

  • cynloy

    Hats off to Tony Maggs! Brain warp however, is not caused by migraines! LOL

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/akinsc Carla Akins

    There is nothing I can say here that will not get out of control.

  • Briar Theelsmom

    The hits just keep coming. No pun intended.

  • TurboKitty

    Absolutely PRICELESS!!! (also true) …

  • Cosmic_Surfer

    It actually could help her – replacing Marcus

    • http://FreakoutNation.com Anomaly 100

      Don’t disrespect Marcus. He could have been our next FLOTUS.

      • Cosmic_Surfer

        Sorry…nah, not really. But I do have sympathy for the vibrator – they do have standards and not sure Michele meets them

        • http://FreakoutNation.com Anomaly 100

          Maybe that’s why she wants to deregulate everything.

          • Cosmic_Surfer

            well…kinda-she wants to deregulate everything regulated and impose her own Michele laws (she’s jealous ‘cuz some girl named Shari A has her own laws)

            • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/akinsc Carla Akins

              OMG, I see what you did there – did you invent that? I am so impressed.

        • DaddyO_969

          I have no doubt her idea of hygiene is no different from her other ideas: unformed, underthought and filthy with diseased notions.

    • BanditBasheert

      It could help Marcus replace HER.

    • saucetin

      newsflash! marcus likes tha menz

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