When You Smile About Still Having Healthcare, It Makes Fox And Friends Very Sad


Friday morning, it was a big frowny fest over at the Fox and Friends studio, where hosts Steve, Brian, and Ainsley were lamenting the crushing blow to Donald Trump’s plans to overhaul American healthcare that took place overnight.

The sappy hosts were probably comfortable in their beds at home last night, content to be told what to say in the morning. In fact, with all the talk of how “shocking” the so-called “Skinny Repeal” vote was, it’s more than likely that Alpha Douche Steve Doocy was prepared to put on his celebration face and lead the gang in a rousing chorus of I-told-you-sos. But their moment of triumph didn’t come. And so, despairing for their defeated leader, the Friends attempted to console one another with a hilariously bad understanding of celebrations, what victory is, and how healthcare works in the first place.

Beta Douche Brian Kilmeade was sarcastically sanguine:

Congratulations, you now will pay a fine or you have to have insurance. Congratulations, the healthy people are paying for the sick people.

Doocy’s pathetic laugh as he recalls Charles Schumer telling the Senate chamber that Democrats were not celebrating says everything you need to know. The Fox hosts are mad that they lost last night, and they’re even more mad that anyone else is happy. The fact is, there was no celebration there on the Senate floor among Democrats. Especially not after the tear-streaked speech Mitch McConnell barely managed to give after his painful defeat.

Outside the building it was another story. Protesters-turned-partiers smiled and waved at cameras, took selfies with exiting senators, and were generally ebullient. And with good reason! Aging senator John McCain, after having cast a vote to let the bill get even this far, finally changed his tune when he realized he couldn’t trust Paul Ryan to keep his word about taking the bill to committee if the Senate came through last night.

Thank God nobody gives a shit what Fox and Friends thinks. Even if Donald Trump is still president, we can still celebrate the small things. Like the GOP being unable to screw over the country just to give tax breaks to millionaires and billionaires.

Featured image via screencap

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